In this blog post we will discuss the necessity of children having the experience of struggle. Please note that all topics in this newsletter are framed using Lev Vygotskys “zone of proximal development” and are considered “appropriate struggle” for preschool aged children.
What is the Zone of Proximal Development? According to Lev Vygotsky the ZPD is the range between what a child can do on their own and what they can do with guidance or support from someone more experienced (like a teacher, parent, or peer) Basically, it is the learning “sweet spot” where tasks that are just challenging enough to stretch a child’s abilities but not so hard that they become discouraged.
When adults provide the right amount of help, called scaffolding, which was mentioned in this blog post children can successfully complete tasks within this zone and gradually build the skills to do them independently. Over time, what was once in the ZPD becomes part of what the child can do on their own — that’s how real learning and development happen.
As adults it is imperative that we allow children to have these moments even though it can cause us discomfort to watch children in a temporary state of frustration or distress. It is possible to be supportive through these moments while still supporting the development of the child. The language we use in these moments is a key factor in helping children be resilient and persistent.
Supportive language can include:
“You’re right, that is hard to do!”
Acknowledging the experience and the feeling without offering to change the circumstance or intervene
allows the child to know you see them, and they still need to complete their task.
“You can try as many times are you need to, I’m right here to watch”
Taking the pressure of children to do things in a certain time frame can help them feel less stressed, while once again not changing the circumstance and letting them complete the task.
“I remember when I learned how to …”
Anecdotal stories help children feel connected to you and let them know that struggling through a new task is something that every learner goes through.
“That was really hard, but I KNEW you could do it, you must feel so proud of yourself!”
Once again we acknowledge the feeling and experience of the child, but instead of offering our approval we give the child ownership of their success. In the future this helps children learn how to feel accomplishment within themselves instead of looking for outward approval from others.
Examples of appropriate Struggle
Where is struggle appropriate for preschool-age children? We understand that every child is different and we support children in all stages of development, but here are some things we encourage and allow children to navigate in our preschool classrooms:
- Dressing themselves, including putting on and taking off shoes
- Eating with utensils instead of hands
- Cleaning up and putting away materials
- Waiting in a line or for a turn
- Using scissors
- Using a tissue to wipe and blow noses
- Handling books appropriately
- Choosing what they need to wear outside to be comfortable in play
- Holding writing tools in a functional pincer grasp.
These are just a few of many times where we see children struggle! we welcome these feeling and support and encourage children along the way to more independence.
Why having and overcoming struggles MATTER!
Struggling with a task activates a child’s problem-solving and reasoning abilities. It helps them practice executive functions like planning, working memory, and flexible thinking, all while strengthen neural pathways through trial and error. This is how the brain learns most effectively. If adults step in too quickly, children may internalize the message that difficulty means failure or that they’re incapable. But, if allowed to persist through mild frustration, they learn that effort leads to mastery, It’s okay not to be perfect right away, and emotions like frustration or confusion are temporary, not dangerous. Over time, this builds grit and self-efficacy…the belief that “I can figure things out.
” When that child finally solves the problem, the satisfaction is real and earned. That authentic pride fosters intrinsic motivation, meaning they do things because they want to, not because someone else told them to. If adults over-assist, children miss out on the “aha!” moment that tells them, I did that!
Moments of struggle are also lessons in emotional self-management. When a child stays with a challenging puzzle, drawing, or social situation, they practice tolerating frustration, calming themselves, finding constructive ways to cope. These are the same emotional muscles that support healthy relationships and stress management later in life. In closing, struggling (appropriately) also helps children develop empathy and patience with others. They learn that everyone has different strengths and that learning takes time this sets a foundation for cooperation and fairness.
It is our great honor and responsibility as caregivers to hold a good cntainer for children’s necessary struggles. When we are able to over ride our inherent desire to “help and ease” and view the bigger picture we give children the gift of life long empowerment.
Blog Post by Sierra Clute – Lead Pre-School Teacher